


the wretched and the joyful, shaking the wings of their terrible youth

by empress_ofbloodshed



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27500239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empress_ofbloodshed/pseuds/empress_ofbloodshed
Summary: Azriel has tattoos on his thighs plus regular Illyrian tattoos + Cass gives him headalso the title is lyrics from Hozier’s Angel of Small Death & The Codeine Scene
Relationships: Azriel/Cassian (ACoTaR)
Kudos: 46





	the wretched and the joyful, shaking the wings of their terrible youth

The dark storm clouds on the horizon worried Azriel. Was it even safe to still be flying? Gusts of a chilling wind whipped his hair every which way, cutting through his flying leathers straight to the bone.

Cassian shouldered Azriel with a wry grin, running to the edge of the cliff with his wings tucked in tight. With a whoop, he jumped off the edge into a freefall before snapping his wings open to take advantage of the massive updraft and soar through the air.

When he landed again, Azriel glowered. Shadows whirled around his hands nervously.

“Oh come on, Azzy,” Cassian shouted over his shoulder as he stood with the toes of his boots hanging over the cliff’s edge. “Live a little!”

Sixty years by Cassian’s side after being tortured by his own father for fifteen, Azriel was still dumbfounded at his friend’s ability to choose the most reckless activities that endangered everyone involved. Cliff jumping as a thunderstorm rolled in was only the latest. But to be fair, in terms of an Illyrian lifespan they were still teenagers. Maybe closer to their early twenties, but not by much.

Reckless, dangerous, and stupid was the description of their life.

With a heavy sigh, Azriel took Cassian’s outstretched hand and they stood on the cliff together, looking over the forest of the Steppes that stretched as far as the eye could see. Cassian squeezed Azriel’s hand, knowing that he still hesitated before taking a jump, unsure of whether or not his wings would support his weight.

“Hey, you’ll be fine,” Cassian murmured reassuringly.

Thunder rumbled directly above them, startling both warriors. Azriel lost his footing, slipping off the edge. His hand was wrenched from Cassian’s and as he fell, he could only watch his friend roar his name, trying to keep himself from falling as well. The cliff vanished as Azriel fell through a cloud, dark grey surrounding him.

Panicking, Azriel’s chest heaved. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t remember how to fly. He couldn’t save himself.

His shadows surrounded him.

The cloud let him loose, continuing his uncontrolled freefall. Lightning flashed in the distance. Close. Too close.

Azriel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the warm wind rush past his face. Then he snapped open his wings with a pained grunt, banking toward the warm updraft he felt seconds ago. The warm air shoved him upwards until he was above the cliff and could look down. Surging out of the updraft, Azriel glided down to the cliff, far away from the edge. His landing was far from graceful, his legs giving out the second he was safe on the ground.

Cassian landed with a boom of his wings a few steps away, pulling Azriel into a tight hug. The latter still shook, his hands trembling as Cassian pulled away to make sure he was okay.

“I’m so sorry, Azriel. I don’t know what happenedーI should’ve caught you. Fuck, I should’veー” Cassian rambled, dragging his hands through his hair.

The sky opened up above them, sheets of rain pouring down onto them and soaking them in moments.

Cassian’s hazel eyes met Azriel’s through the rain, some spark they both acknowledged but hid flaring to life. He was only two inches taller, but when he tipped Azriel’s face up to his as rain poured down around them, it felt like so much more.

“Az, you know I would never let anything happen to you,” Cassian breathed, rubbing his thumb in gentle circles over Azriel’s cheek as he cupped his face in one hand.

Azriel’s voice wasn’t working properly. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was rough and low, rumbling through his body. “Are you going to kiss me or not?”

They had been dancing around each other for years, never wanting to make the first move. Rhys brushed it off as they were just jealous over a girl. He didn’t understand the current that ran between the two warriors, one deeper than just friendship.

Even on his darkest days, Cassian had been there for Azriel. He laughed, made jokes, tried to lighten Azriel’s dark moods. And it worked.

As Cassian licked his lips, a question in his eyes, Azriel nodded. He swore he didn’t breathe as Cassian leaned down, brushing the dripping hair out of his face with his free hand. Then his lips were on Azriel’s, warm and soft despite the cold and the rain and everything that was rough about their lives.

The soft groan that slipped from Azriel’s lips as Cassian tugged him so their bodies were flush with the other surprised both, but when he looked at Cassian for a reaction, the latter’s lips twitched into a smirk. Heat swirled through Azriel, too hot despite the cold rain.

“Can we get out of this rain?” Azriel asked, water streaming down his body. All he wanted was Cassian’s lips and hands on his body. And to be dry.

Cassian’s laugh echoed. “I know a place, if you’re up to a little flying.”

* * *

The small cabin was tucked away in a grove of pines deep in the Illyrian Steppes. Rain pattered gently on the roof as Cassian lit a fire in the hearth, disappearing for a few moments before returning with two of the fluffiest white towels Azriel had ever felt.

They shucked off their leathers and hung them on a convenient drying rack next to the fire. Azriel dried himself off with the towel, ruffling his hair quickly so he didn’t look like a drowned dog. His hair was nowhere near as long as Cassian’s, but it was still a pain when the curls got wet.

He followed Cassian into his bedroom, taking a pair of loose black pants and a cerulean sweater from his dresser. The clothes were warm, dry, and smelled of Cassian’s telltale scent of cinnamon and woodsmoke and faint hint of sweat.

Azriel tucked himself into the plush armchair next to the couch, hearing Cassian’s soft footsteps pad up behind him then feel his hands on his shoulders, rubbing out the knots that formed earlier. He leaned back into his friend’s touch, his eyes fluttering shut as he imagined what else those hands could do.

“Well well, looks like someone’s happy to see me,” Cassian crooned in Azriel’s ear. Azriel flushed crimson as he glanced down toward his lap, the evidence of his daydreams crystal clear.

Cassian braced himself on the arms of the chair, hovering over Azriel. Wanting more, Azriel pulled his head down until their lips met. He tugged on Cassian’s bottom lip with his teeth, his cock twitching as Cassian growled in a purely male way that made Azriel only want him more. Cassian’s tongue swept into his mouth, tasting of whiskey and rain.

Azriel lifted the hem of Cassian’s thick sweater, dragging it up and over his head. He mourned the break in their kiss, but it was forgotten the moment Cassian’s lips began trailing down down his neck, sucking just enough to leave marks in all the right places. Tangling his fingers in the damp strands of Cassian’s hair, Azriel pushed his head lower.

The blue sweater was roughly tugged off and thrown into a corner somewhere so Cassian could kiss a path down Azriel’s chest, his fingers lazily tracing his tattoos. The look in Cassian’s eyes as he knelt in front of Azriel was so heady Azriel’s head spun a bit. He knew if he stopped him now, they would never breathe a word of it ever again.

“Fuck, Cass,” Azriel ground out. He tried bucking his hips up, but the grip on his waist was unyielding.

“Tell me what you want,” Cassian said, his voice an iron command wrapped in the softest silks of desire.

“I wantーfuck. I need you, Cass.”

Cassian’s answering grin had Azriel near to begging. And he didn’t beg. For anything.

Azriel wanted to cry out in frusturation as the warrior on his knees before him took his sweet time unlacing his pants. Instead he settled on lifting his hips off the chair so Cassian could slide his pants off easier.

“When did you get tattoos on your thighs?” Cassian asked with a confused frown, his hands casually resting on Azriel’s bare thighs. His touch burned, but in a good way. Like the way whiskey burned in his throat.

Azriel threw his head back in frustration. “After the Rite. Gods, Cass. Hurry the fuck up.”

Faintly he heard Cassian grumbling about how he wanted thigh tattoos too. But then nothing else in the world mattered as the pads of his fingers traced the elaborate whorls curling up Azriel’s legs. His lips lingered on the inside of his thighs, ghosting higher and higher still.

Finally, Cassian’s hand wrapped around Azriel’s cock, his thumb flicking over the tip. Azriel’s chest heaved, his breathing labored. He was afraid to look, but at the same time he wanted to watch. Cassian pumped with one hand, leaning up to capture Azriel’s lips the second he twisted his hand, a loud moan dragging from Azriel’s throat.

_Fuck, he knows what he’s doing._

As he kissed his way down Azriel’s taut stomach, he guided Azriel’s hand into his hair. All the while keeping the steady pace, Cassian dragged a finger down the sensitive membrane of Azriel’s wing. Azriel’s hips bucked involuntarily as he panted, fisting his fingers in Cassian’s hair.

Cassian spread his legs wider in the chair, wrapping his lips around the tip of Azriel’s cock. Then he sank his head down, taking in as much as he possibly could while still stroking.

“Oh godsーfuck yes. Cassian. Yes. Fuck,” Azriel groaned, not quite able to process anything more than his name, fuck, and yes.

Tongue licking a long stripe up his shaft, Cassian twisted his hand in perfect tandem that had Azriel crying out his name. When his head sank down again, Azriel thrust his hips up and yanked Cassian’s head down. His cock was practically down Cassian’s throat, yet still he kept going.

“Cass, I’m gonnaーoh fuck, oh fuck yes. Keep doing that.” Azriel felt himself nearing his climax, rising like the swell of a wave before it crashed. “Fuck, Cassianー”

Cassian’s cheeks were hollowed out, his lips forming a perfect circle around Azriel’s cock, his eyes closed as he swallowed everything. His chuckle was dark as he stood to pull Azriel to his feet, kissing him hard. Azriel could taste himself on Cassian’s tongue. It wasn’t unpleasant; he found he kind of liked it.

“Damn Azriel,” Cassian chuckled, leaning down to press his forehead to Azriel’s, “I always thought Rhys was lying about the wingspan shit, butーMother’s tits, you’re fucking massive.”

Azriel snarled, “Keep his name out of your mouth. You’re mine.”

Cassian growled low in his throat. “What about me is yours?”

“Everything.”

Azriel shoved Cassian backward, the latter falling against the couch. Then he straddled the warrior, rolling his hips against his and smirking at the way Cassian moaned.

“Everything is mine,” Azriel whispered in Cassian’s ear, slipping his hand under the waistband of his trousers to grip Cassian’s hardening member. “Your cock, your body, your heart, your dreams, your nightmares. When you’re inside me. You. All mine.”

Azriel smirked, ripping Cassian’s pants off before taking his cock into his mouth up to the hilt. Cassian could only moan Azriel’s name in reply. It was a wonder Cassian lasted as long as he did, seeing as Azriel used all the tricks he knew to make a male moan.

Cassian was too busy with his hands in Azriel’s hair to notice he was only using one hand. After Cassian came with Azriel closing his lips around him to prevent a single drop from spilling, he sucked until there was an audible pop as his lips left the warrior’s cock. Then he guided Cassian’s hand to his own throbbing length, keeping his hand under his own as he pumped up and down. Before Azriel knew it, he was spilling himself across Cassian’s stomach and lap.

* * *

“Cheater,” Cassian grumbled, swiping two fingers through Azriel’s release and sucking his fingers clean. 

He stood, yanking Azriel up with him and backing him up against the cool stone of the wall. Directly across the cabin was a window with a perfect view of the spot where Cassian pinned Azriel up against the wall with his hands above his head. Pulling one of Azriel’s legs up over his waist, Cassian rolled his hips three times against the shadowsinger’s. It didn’t take long for them both to harden, spurned on faster by pure arousal and lust.

Cassian loved the way Azriel couldn’t form proper sentences, his speech consisting solely of _oh gods, yes, fuck yes_ , and his absoulte favorite: _fuck, Cass_. He forced Azriel to watch as he wrapped his hand around his own cock and pretended it was Azriel’s. His lover’s hands were still pinned above his head, unable to stroke himself like Cassian knew he wanted to. Cassian’s muscles tightened, his cock twitching in his hand as he neared that precipice of pleasure.

Azriel whimpered, the sensation too great as Cassian pushed them flush against each other and the wall, his length weeping on both of them. Then Cassian pulled back with a low, “Fuck,” as his release barreled through him, spilling himself all over Azriel.

Azriel simply looked down at himself and magicked a towel to clean them both off, then dragged his gaze up Cassian’s nude body before meeting his eyes. Cassian couldn’t help but flex and stretch his wings wide as he preened for the male before him. The shadowsinger’s lips twitched up into a wicked smirk, one rarely seen by anyone.

Shadows swirled around both, and Cassian came to the mildly terrifying realisation that Azriel had been in control all along.

Thank the Mother when Cassian furnished his cabin he decided to add a bed big enough to fit two comfortably, even if both had wings. Neither could lay flat on their back because of their wings without it being extremely painful, so it was an awkward struggle until they found a position that worked for both of them while still allowing Azriel to be on top.

Put simply, Cassian was just laying on a shit ton of pillows with strategically placed gaps so his wings could move freely.

Azriel lay between his legs, his hands splayed on Cassian’s chest so his wings weren’t pinned down. Their lips met, Cassian’s tongue sweeping into Azriel’s mouth as he cupped his cheek in one hand and and the muscle of his ass in the other. The shadowsinger’s low growl of pleasure rumbled through his chest.

Cassian swore loudly as Azriel’s hips snapped into his own, the latter clearly fed up with the languid pace they moved against one another before. Within moments, he met his lover’s pace and pulled Azriel’s lips to his. They hardly broke contact except to gasp for air when they needed it, their bodies moving in tandem with one another in the way only two warriors could.

The shadowsinger bent one of Cassian’s legs and hiked his knee up over his own hip, rolling slowly against him. Both of their chests heaving, Azriel glanced at Cassian for permissionーwhich he gave wholeheartedlyーbefore a bottle of oil appeared in his hands.

Cassian’s head fell back onto the pillows, his eyes nearly rolling back into his head as Azriel pushed into him, ever so slowly. Azriel filled him near to bursting, the tip of his cock brushing a spot that had Cassian panting hard, his eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.

A long, loud moan fell from his lips as Azriel began thrusting in and out, sucking on the junction of his neck and shoulder, and dragging his fingers in elaborate patterns along Cassian’s wings.

“Azriel,” Cassian cried out, his body beginning to tense up. “Fuck. Az. Gods, fuck, yes. Don’t stop. Oh goーyeah that’s it.” Azriel’s lips left Cassian’s body, settling on sucking on the talon of his wing instead. “Faster, faster, harder. Fuck.”

Cassian was falling and falling hard as Azriel’s hips snapped into his own, his thrusts so powerful he could feel the bed rocking back and forth. His focus narrowed to the feeling of Azriel driving himself back into him and his mouth on the talon of his wing.

He could only cry out Azriel’s name as he came, begging for more. 

And the shadowsinger gave it to him. Just as quickly as he fell from his last climax, Azriel was pulling him to the top of another. He lifted Cassian’s hips just enough to change the angle of entry, driving himself into that bundle of nerves every single time all the while kissing and licking and nipping Cassian’s wings.

Cassian reached up, running his palms down the sensitive membrane of Azriel’s wings and feeling his thrusts stutter, his cock twitch. His lover’s amber eyes squeezed shut, his focus on making his last few thrusts as powerful as possible before he came.

“Fuck, Cass, Iー” Azriel broke off mid-sentence, the wave of pleasure barreling through him so hard he collapsed onto Cassian’s chest. With a groan, he sat upright and pulled out, shifting so he was straddling Cassian. “Fucking hells, Cass. I don’t think I’ve come that hard inーwell, fuck, forever.”

Cassian pulled Azriel down for a slow kiss, one that didn’t stoke the embers of passion but rather subdued it. His smile was smug afterward. Azriel smirked, dragging his knuckles down Cassian’s wing and capturing his moan with a searing kiss.

Round two consisted of Cassian rolling onto his stomach, his hands held above his head as Azriel teased him with shadows, lips and tongue all the while fucking him slowly. Round three had Azriel pinned beneath Cassian, loud moans falling from his lover’s lips.

Afterward, the shadowsinger reluctantly pulled away to go shower, dragging Cassian with him. They kissed under the stream of hot water, nothing more. They were too tired for much more than lazy kisses and soft touches and tracing the other’s tattoos mindlessly while laying in bed after changing the sheets. The two Illyrian warriors fell asleep in each other’s arms, waking up the next morning not regretting a single moment.


End file.
